本文刊載於《休士頓臺灣商會2012年年刊》
宋明綉
My mom has three daughters, my older sister, my younger sister, and I. For where we came from, we are not your average women; we are plus size women according to the Taiwanese standard. One time, I told my mom, om, I am the skinniest daughter you have.? I thought that my mom would be proud of me, but instead, she said, ow come you set your goal so low?? Sometimes, I argued, om, in America, I am the average size, I am not heavy at all.? My mom replied, ot if you stand beside your husband.? I used to think that, it would be easier for me to make my husband fat than for me to lose weight. But my husband didn’t give me a fighting chance. Do you know how he eats greasy Chinese food? He dips it in hot tea before eating it. He gives the greasy Chinese food a hot bath!
Even though my mom believes that my husband and I don look compatible, I still find joy in knowing that I am the skinniest daughter in my family. My older sister is two years older than me, but we don look alike. She is apple-shaped, and I am pear-shaped. When we go shopping together and I try on clothes, she says remarks such as, o, No, this jacket is too short for you. It better for you to hide your big hips.? o, No, this skirt is too short for you. It better for you to cover up your thick legs.? As a result, I ended up with a lot of granny looking clothes. Over time, I figured out, her strategy — she just wants me to look older than her. In every family photo, my older sister, hides behind me or my younger sister. She only likes to show half of her body, so she can appear skinnier than her sisters. Who says the oldest sister is the most matured one?
My younger sister is the heaviest one among us. She hates to go shopping with her sisters, ever since we commented on her multiple-layer fashion. As she stepped out of fitting room, we joked, ere comes the wedding cake.? People always said that the youngest sister can get away with anything. But this is not the case in my family. Out of all the sisters, my younger sister received the most pressure from my mom. As my younger sister walked towards kitchen, my mom would instruct us, o hide the banana.? o hide the sausage. ? When someone said to my young sister, ay, looks like you have lost some weight!? My mom would wait till that person left and proceed to tell my younger sister, on believe in what she said, she is not your true friend.? Conversely, my mom believes that a true friend is someone who criticized you for being overweight. When my younger sister went out with her friends, my mom always provided this sage advice, et your friends do the eating, you do the talking.? According to my mom, if you talk, then you can eat. May be this is why my younger sister is such an excellent speaker, she got enough practice! She is Taiwanese Queen Latifah. People get in line to request her to host their major events. She knows how to work a crowd; she brings the happy atmosphere to a climax at weddings; she evokes tears and touches hearts at funerals.
My older sister is also a big talker. She hardly ever stops talking, as if she can stand a minute of silence. Once she hears a joke, she turns around and tells the next person, only in much more vivid words and exaggerated acting, so she has built her own fan base as well. However, once she is invited to the stage, that when her words stumble. As she likes to describe it, ff stage, I am a powerful dragon; on stage, I am a frightened caterpillar.? Very different from both of my sisters, I was shy and quiet. But, I continued to attend toastmaster meetings and have delivered countless speeches since I have joined. Who is the best speaker in the family? That is a close contest, but I feel that the best speaker award should go to my mom. This is because in every conversation, she has the punch line, and the last word.
As you just heard, my mom is a tiger mom. But, have you ever heard of tiger daughter? I have one at home. She inherited her quick wit and sharp words from her grandma. For example, when she was a teenager, every time when she went out with friends, I always said, on fool around with boys.? I thought I was performing a mother duty, until she said, om, why are you always saying this? Is it because you did it before?? Now, she is a grown up woman. I feel that our roles have reversed. Lately, I have been having a blood sugar issue, and my doctor instructed for me to lose weight. My daughter became my weight watcher. She even made me to record what I ate on livestrong.com, so she can monitor me. At this stage of my life, my daughter has become the most dependable woman in my life, even surpassing my own mom and my two sisters.
The women in my family all care about each other, sometimes we may seem out of line, but I truly feel that I am fortunate to have them in my life.